You're so nebulous sometimes
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
