Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
