You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You can't motorboat a personality
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
