Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
