Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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