Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
