somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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