I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
