Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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