have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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