there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
