Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
