I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
