I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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