I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
