dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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