At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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