I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
