I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm too high and old for this...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
