I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
