dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Randomize
