I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
