Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
