Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
