How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
