You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
