I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
