were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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