Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize