I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
