he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
