my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
