i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
