All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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