you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
