You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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