Do you still have your period?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize