Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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