I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
