Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
