i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she smelled like a LAN party
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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