You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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