yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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