So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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