who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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