Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
