Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Are my feet made of real feet?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
