I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Who died my cat blue again?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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