Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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