So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
