Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
