Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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