i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize