Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
