i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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