they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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