And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
