your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
