So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize